so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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