Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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