Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
