I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
