I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
