Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
