i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
