I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
