I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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