Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
