Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
