Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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