I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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