Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize