Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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