God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
