Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
