i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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