You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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