so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
