I wish life had little blips of pornography
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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