I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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