Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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