I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
