as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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