he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
