she was so not down for the gang bang
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it hurts more in the daytime
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
