Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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