Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize