somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
