she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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