if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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