Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
