Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
