She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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