i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
