what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
