Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
