her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
