I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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