so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT