Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
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We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
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I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.