Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges