I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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