He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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