Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
