i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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