I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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