I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
