the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
