I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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