Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Randomize
