Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
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there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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