I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
