You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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